Today while i was on the facebook i came across of the news of the pass of the adult entertaining actor Erik Rhodes, i wasn't a particular fan, to be honest from his pictures i knew i saw him somewhere ( after i did my research and then i remembered ) for some reason what intrigue me about him was the fact he died of a heart attack while sleeping and from some comments about how caring and sweet human being he was, and i : Wait a minute, are we talking about a porno star here ? 

So i did my research, and for my embarrassment yeah he was a good guy, with a Blog where he describe his life and his thoughts and his plans for the future, and how hard it was read between so many beautiful messages of RIP read so many offensive messages that im sure it will hurt his parents and the people who love him. Worse than me who the first thought it was "A sweet porno star ?" it was the people judging his steroid intake and saying he deserved, like anyone minding their own business deserve to die.I did take drugs and did home video porno movies like probably 75% of the gay population, the only reason that my heart didn't stop it was the quantity and the only reason you haven't seen my videos yet is because im not famous. 

I still haven't finish to read his Blog, but what i saw so far, is the journal of a young gay man, that like any other gay man was trying to look his best and was very lost as his porno persona took over his life and made him invisible, who only found comfort and understanding through the people of the adult business entertainment. 


The use of Steroids by men cause in many cases the same effect of the Bulimia and Anorexia cause in women, but nobody will go around saying : - That bitch wanted so much  to be skinny that now she got her wish! will they ? in the same way a ultra skinny girl can't see how skinny she is the same apply to the muscles guys about their size, gays or not ,the girls obsession for beauty and perfection finally caught us, and now we are the ones dying to be drop dead Gorgeous, and we are actually dropping dead and there is nothing gorgeous about it. 

I found very bizarre how fast people judge and condemn someone's soul even before their body has the time to get cold, don't get me wrong im not one of those people that think someone became a saint just because is dead, but i think only someone very close or the person himself know what was really going on when someone kill himself in purpose, by accident or unconsciously like i kind of think was the case.


How many times in my life i put my life at risk because i was having a good time or because i was in a very difficult time of my life and i thought : - If kills me so be it ,but it didn't, Karma, lucky whatever you prefer to see it, the difficult times were gone and i was again taking care of myself, but unfortunately for some people like Erik there were no chance to go back and undone, because sometimes we need to live with the consequences of our actions for a lifetime  ( if you lucky enough to have a lifetime to think what you did wrong )

It really breaks my heart that his last words on his most recent entry on his blog was : "I'm waiting until i pop or my liver to fails....which every comes first. " it was clearly that something was going terrible wrong in his life,but as any person that lives from his image, he was a attention seeker and maybe for that reason his words wasn't taken seriously. 


When i was starting to go to the gym i did think about going to the Steroid way, but first of all : God knows what that thing would do with my body, and you would say : Yeah not if you take the right stuff and do in the right way ! Yeah sure,but but with 2000 people saying something different which one really know what he saying ? Am i that vain to put my life at risk of  cancer, liver failure or heart attack just for few years of muscle beauty before the 40's come and my body start to lose his muscle density ? no, thanks !

If i could give you younger pretty boys out there it is : Don't do steroids, they do make us look wonderful and more attractive at first glance, but it is something hard to maintain and will put your body under a stress that may take your life in those down moments when our auto preservation instinct are not fully on. 

There is nothing wrong in be the best of you can be, because if sometimes not even perfect porno stars can keep up what to say about us poor love handles mortals ? My love goes for his family, because behind of any dragqueen, porno star there is a person with their own story and reasons.  

                                                                         

                                                                         R.I.P

Yesterday i was watching one of many tv programs dedicated to the Diamond Jubilee of the Queen, what made me think and reposition my ideas of what the Royal family represent in today's world and how really relevant they still is.

As a foreigner in this country but also with my share of British blood through my father's family, the British culture and history were always interesting for me in a more curious way that a a way of life. As a person with my eye on the future and in everything that may be the next big thing, im not the person that you may think has  any interest on the old, but i think for we totally appreciate and understand our modern days you should look in the past, you should try to understand how we get here. 

Watching the Tv Special, we were able to see never seen footage of the Queen in her young years, showing private recordings of the family in holidays away from the public eye, and is funny and obvious they are all humans, but was kind of refreshing see that indoors they were capable of the same silliness and demonstration of bond that we all share with our family and friends.What made me consider that maybe the Queen also poo like the rest of us. (lol)

Won't be honest if i don't say that part of the allure of the Royal Family kind of died when Diana died, in my eyes she was the person tha brought the Royal Family to the 21th century, she gave the Royals a more fun but also more human ( and dysfunctional ) image.She dyed her hair, she brought high fashion to  Buckingham Palace and taught her kids how to  relate to other people,but also learned that you can't manipulate the Media as you wish and show the world the dirty under the Royal Family carpet.

But through history you learn that much before Diana, there were other Royals that were born to be Wild ( the same of being normal for us ) the king Edward VIII who abdicated of his throne for the American Wallis Warfield Simpson a divorcee  in 1936, in 1950 Princess Margaret wasn't allow to marry Peter Townsend because he was a divorcee ( twenty and three years later she would become a divorcee herself ) she died alone at the age of 71 in 2002, Margaret blamed the queen's private secretary, Sir Alan Lascelles, for the campaign against the match, and never forgave him and was seen openly saying as he passed by : " There goes the man who ruined my life ".

And of course the most infamous one, that was Charles and his long lasting love Camilla Parker Bowles, we all should give him a chance to be finally with the woman that his heart choose much earlier than Diana, his crime was just try to do what a future king suppose to do ( whatever actually that is ) but even arranged royal marriages will crumble if this is absolutely nothing there to start with, and having dated Diana older sister in the past, they just picked the most appropriate one ,she was chosen like a Breeding horse.

Going through their history sometimes you can't help but feel sorry for them, yeah they have all this money and luxury that not even people like Madonna could dream of, but different than pop superstars, they are not allow to screw up, they caught prince Harry with a spliff as a teenager and was a huge national commotion, wait a minute, really ? and talking about wild Royal Children, the tradition apparently will continues with Harry, leaving all the responsibility to William who also broke the rules himself marring someone with no royal blood whatsoever and with that he may just reborn the world interest on the medieval art propaganda because let's face it ,the British Royals were the first Global international superstars of all, so if the Queen should be thankful to the people of Britain of her past, ironically she should thanks Diana that monarchy will have a future as in this culturally pop world we live in, William and Kate will be the modern, pretty and more human face of the British Royal family. 

 GOD SAVE THE QUEEN AND ALL THE OTHER                .........."QUEENS" THAT KEPT HER THERE...........






       Steve Cavalcanti

    

Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements.Elizabeth II