STEVE IN PROGRESS

Hey 

Long time no seen my dear internet "private" diary, what can i say? Since the last time we talk i left my job ,i went to Portugal,i decided my move to London,i X-ray ,MRI and tested ny hands nerves,did i say i had sex ? i mean not in this necessary order, but you must know that i like to keep few things private, like my vacations, so lets talk about my sex life ? just kidding.....

Yeah apparently my trip back home is finally coming ,Brazil yeahhhh :) after a never ending winter with lots of Snow and almost a decade out of the beach i finally start to resemblance Olivia Newton John in Grease and if my pale face doesn't convince you i have a blood test to prove it as apparently my  levels of Calcium are very similar to my grandmother, what is great I'm not adopt so .

Apparently the modern technology and the lack of someone to wank me over gave me two hands that now will hurt for the rest of my life, the good news is that is not osteoporosis or Carpel Tunnel Syndrome, so i did with my hands what a retired porn actress done with her pussy, i used to much .

Most of the times we only realise what we need to do

when is staring at our face, i needed to get fat to finally understand that french fries and Big Mac are not actually really a hunk maker, and over use my hands between a work in a coffee shop, work at home in a computer and my gym, end up that something got to give and if you know me you probably know that was the coffee making that was the one chop off of my life ( but not from my mouth ) so i needed to become almost a handicap to finally give myself a chance.

I maybe finally getting over of a heart ( not the organ ) situation that almost dragged my soul down the drain of my self pit and believing in the good of the human race from the past 4 years, is much easier to recover from the felling of a mentally wounded hand than trying to recover a psychological decapitation ,but as all sane ( or almost ) person or a emotional lizard, here i am back to normal me ( as much as normal me can be normal ) a lot wiser, a lot knowledgeable of what i want in life and probably the person with less patience for bull shit in the entire planet.

You see, the good thing of being a decent  human and a cant in the same time is that you can play the anti-hero, because everybody got a bad side ,the evil part ,but most people use it for the wrong purposes, so after a life time suppressing my evil side, i finally released but in that case only towards the other evils ones, some kind of Dexter without the bloodshed :) so i still can be the most adorable excentric man and play my evil side with those who fall for my silly face and want someone to play. 

Won't lie ,life is hard, and if you like to live the safe side of life ,always afraid and not taking risks, good for you you probably preserved your brain as new as when you were a fuck up teenager, the bad news is that you a no more a teenager and you are ruining out of excuses to still be so fuck up ,if someone that went through disappointments ends up a bitter sad figure i won't really be sad for them ,not because they felt the bads in life but because they gave up far too soon, its takes time to recover a heart break, a disappointment or any of the many challengers that life through at us, but hide behind 20 cats in a house full of dust it won't make better ,it won't make go away ,you gonna be frozen in time with your pain ,so i decide go for life in the same way i decided to try eat less life ( or at least something that wasn't alive one day before got in my plate )


 I don't promise to go all vegetarian in the same way i don't promise never break my heart ,but for whatever happen in my life ,my plate or my bed i decided that any life headache will never make me stop enjoying it ,i will go slow and i may not need to kill to feed my appetite, because the hunt sometimes is better than the hunted prize, you catch and then you set it free because if comes back means that was meant for you  ( but in case there is a chicken you can just
 kill the stupid animal e eat it ) lol 

Steve Cavalcanti