FIVE YEARS LATER

Hello guys, here is me again, after more than two months without posting, sorry for my absence but I had a good excuse after 5 years I was in my birth country Brazil and it was awesome. When you live so far from home is easy for you to forget the basic you, yourself from the time you weren’t so complex, when you had all the time in this world and life was so much simple but you didn’t know it.

My trip to the Memory Lane was a good time for me to heal old wounds; to check out my own mortality, realize how much I changed and how some things will never change. Stay away from home for so long can really makes you understand what are the real priorities in your life and where your heart really rely on!

After 5 years my grandmother that was a very healthy middle age woman became a old lady with difficulties to walk, breath and hear, in five years my niece that was a charming little girl became this funny, energetic dirty mouth pre-teenager that speak to me like my equal, in five years i got a father that finally understood his mistakes of 30 years and made his amends, in five years I was out of place in my favorite disco club, in five years I became a person on my own rights.

Time runs faster like never, is kind of funny why times pass by so slowly when you are teen and more close you get of your 30´s faster it goes and after 30 the train goes even faster and sometimes you don’t have time to look back carefully and analyse your journey and get a good picture about what you became.

In my memory and in my family memory i was still the extremely young, shy but energetic young boy that I always was, and even in the back of my mind that is the way I was still picturing myself, backing to my land, to my roots was also backing to my past, the last time I was more than a week in Sao Paulo it was 10 years ago, this time I was there for almost 2 months, time enough for me go through old pictures, to see my then irresponsible old sister mature into a carrying hard working mom, to realise im not so energetic anymore but in the same time not shy neither, time made me tougher, rude sometimes but haven’t change my love for life and faith in people good will, just being the person I am today gave some people a good lesson about how wrong is judging a book by the cover and who once predicted a dark future for myself today live their own produced darkness, time also haven’t change things that I hoped it would but in the same time show me that I lost something I shouldn’t that is my patience and that is necessary to deal with the people you love most.

Be so far away made me realise I became this “no land being” I no longer belong there but im also don’t belong here, I became this tourist on the move, someone that doesn’t speak any language right but who also can communicate in any language, my brain became this vast place full of words and experiences that nobody in my birth country could never imagine, in order to achieve those great memories of learning, trips and culture knowledge I paid a great price but im proud of what I did and now I think I finally ready to this second part of my life where the destiny is not maturity only, is infinite and beyond ! ( yeah yeah im maturing but I still like animations and Toy Story is my favorite one dah ) lol