So often we hear about domestic violence in the straight world, but rarely people take notice of that the same thing do happen on the pink side of the bruise and sometimes the saichological abusive relationships are the ones that left the most print on us.

Im no new to that kind of relationship and I had lived the experience twice in my life ,one in my first relationship when my stupidity and youth let me listen my partner and made me run from my own home and what it started like a action romantic movie end up like those cheap documentaries about the sub world and their ativities.( because when I was already living with him I found out he as a scort boy ) lol

The second it happen not long ago and caught me in a very low and sad time of my life, and if advice it really works to anything I will tell you now, really careful when you feel down or going through a rough time in your life because your urge for some sympathy it will attract only the real life crows, people that live in other people energy, that kind people not having much luck trying to push down the carpet of someone that is having a good time for example and will attack those that have no shield against them.

Don't take me wrong, I assume completely responsibility to let thing go bad to worse,in the end of the story nobody put a gun in my head,but there is always a voice in the back of your head telling you the truth, and we choose not to listen, please dont confuse live dangerously with hurting yourself in purpose, because if a relationship are making you feel worse than better then you are hurting yourself, lose your self respect and your hability to enjoy your life it is some kind of death, you are killing your spirit.

Every whore has a sad story to teel and as a gay men we are all in one level or another all whores with issues, some crumble in their own issues, some live in denial and others sort themsselves out, I like to think I belong to the third category, as I call myself “Nerd with a twist” I love to learn new thing and get my own conclusions about it including moments to stop and think about what I done right and wrong and formulate what I learn from it ,because every situation in your life will have something worth learning,bad or good.

I would not describe all the events and situations I lived in those bad moments otherwise I would need to divide this post in 3 sections, but I can totally give you the advice that can maybe salve you some traumas and headaches, doesn't matter in which side of the evil stick are you, not assuming here that im a expert on the field, but just someone letting it out some of those situations that I not only lived myself but also saw around me and realise the most of the time they got the same results,here are some of them :

1 ) First Impressions last : Doesn't matter if you met a new man in the Match.com or Manhunt, one or another it will not be a garanteen of romance or sex if your act is not together, be precise about what you want and who you are, lie it may attract more people,but if by mistake you attract the man of your dreams it will be twice dramatic see him lose interest because of your lies, never take anyone for granted, because the one night stand or fuckbuddy of today may turn into your tomorrow partner ,so start clean so you dont need to fix or create a ball of lies in the future. Be a filthy whore in bed doesn't mean you should be one out of bed too.

2 ) Even if you are in a monogamous relationship you still a unity, dont take me wrong, I wish your relationship last forever,but lets be honest, in our days relationships are like your grosseries it will expire in some point, and if that happen,how much of you will be left ? I love going out dancing, I love go around museus taking pictures like a retard, what I did ? I stop all because that made us fight , stopping what you like it won't make you hate it ,it will build up the toxins that it will cause the end of your relationship down in the line.

3 ) In any relationship there is a bit of competition, but as long you both are competing to a common beneficial result that is perfectly normal, but when the compettion goes to offensive comments that knock your confidence down or who is more attractive to others, that means one or the two of you are overweighting this ship, and there is just one space left in this titanic save bolt ! Because I was slightly chubby and after a year listening to a very rash comments about my curves I develop a brilhant eating desorder that made me drop more than two stones what made me end up looking like a AIDS patience in the end of the 80's. (click on the pic for the link ) 

4 ) You know that old saying don't to others what you wouldn't like to yourself ? So be honest with yourself and the person that you are with, there is nothing wrong about you want to be sexuality with someone else, they call Open Relationship, but when the Open Relatonship is just open in one side without the other knoledge you just messing with someone else feelings and rights, especially in gay relationship sometimes the more active one ( read : The most top one ) because of the family religious background or culture, they end up taking on board those old fashion male principles of the straight wourld, where men need more sex than women and bla bla bla, but hey ,wake up ,we are talking about two dudes here, what works for you works for me, and if you like to try different butts maybe your partner may enjoy some new cocks too! Before your relationship get any more serious is worth you both seat down and define the boundaries of your relationship before your relationship do that for you.

5 ) Take a good third pespective look at your relationship, do you admire your partner ? Would you be his friend if wasn't a sexual connection beteewen you two ? If your answer was no it means you two were better off as a one night stand, as even for a good fuck buddy some mental chemistry is necessary! Unfortunately we all confuse sex with love, and the best sex not always comes with the best head attached and you may end up in a relationship that only works in bed, but like Madonna used to say : Satin sheets are very romantic but happen when you are not in bed ?

6 ) Sometimes a fuck is just a fuck, you met a new guy and he is really nice,great sex but he can't stop the sex hunting even at you presence ? Thanks to new hook ups smarts phones, then please lower your expectations, because that means that : 1 ) He is a internet sex addicted and it wont stop even that he really likes you or 2 ) You a very nice but you never know when something better may be 5 mins walk on Grindr, so for that type I will say do it as they do ,enjoy the night but dont be surprise if they forget to call you until their next horny day or even if they just even not bother to call you anymore at all because they found that someone better ( of the week ) so some people should be treated as a piece of meat as they see other people to be. Hush ? Maybe, but makes easier for you identify and then open your life for a future boyfriend or even for a fuck buddy that do care about you as a person as he does as your lover.It doesn't matter if you have another hook up for tomorrow, at least have the respect to treat the today hook up with the respect he deserves and if the only think you can do in your spare time is to to fuck with as much people as you could, if that is your life call is fine, but if you not in a sauna or in a threesome at least enjoy one at the time, if you are not a prostitute the next client can wait you get alone again to arrange the next meeting. 

7 ) If your partner keep betraying your trust or fool other people and is well know as a trouble maker,believe me even if that didn't affect you yet,in some point it will, if he didn't turn evil on you yet,try to break up to see how disrespectful for your both story and how public your private laundry can be wash , so while you with that person:  no nude pics ,no private porno movies ,i know I know you are not a famous celebrity, but not really want to your mom watch that DVD that came in the post of her son taking up in the arse dress in leather, do you ?

I also could continue to write about it and add even more topics ,what makes funny if not tragic is that all those headaches and complications could be all solve it if we were a little bit more honest with ourselves and with others, call me old fashion but I dont need to sign a papper to make my word worth it, doesn't matter how many times I get my hearbroken or get my expectations frustated I will never lose my faith in people and in myself, get yourself hurt is not a excuse for your put less effort in your relationnships,friendships or work commitements,learn from your mistakes and from other people mistakes ( as you not gonna live enough to commit all mistakes ) so next time you will be able to make better choices, who dont take risks,dont suffer but also dont live. ( please not talking about sexual protection, comdoms always )

Steve Cavalcanti 

                 "Dont have sex man.it leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them."

                                                                       Steve Martin

I'm beautiful doesn't matter what they say

Few days ago there is this Freak show surround what the journalist Samantha Brick wrote about herself in a article,she said she was a lesbian ? That she enjoys be tired up ? Nooo, she just said that she is beautiful, so what is so shocking about it ? First of all it is the fact that she can say that out loud, and second is the fact that she is not actually beautiful, ohh a bit rash dont you think ? She also afirmed that other women are jelous of beautiful women, and strangenly enough was that statement that burst the tempers of the women nation.

Now,come on ? Even that beauty it is in the eye of the beer holder (lol) say you are beautiful is as much as a powerful and open for questioning statement than women dont like pretty women (dah) is one of those things that everybody knows but dont metion it, it is the elephant in the room.

I was raised surround by women in my my family and friends, and yeah women get insecure surround by beautiful women, in the same way that men get insecure when they see their partner looking to some six abs in magazines or at the gym, even the most beautiful person would have their insecurities moments and desire a more design abs or their mother's blue eyes, we are never satisfied with ourselves, what until surtain point is a very healphy thing, be better,faster,smarter is what motivate humanity to go forward,always searching for a better way to be yourselves.

Like the journalist said in her interview,she always notice how men approuch her in a different way ( Like the commandant of a flight send her Champagne and she said that not even surprise her because always happen ) and how jelousy even terminated some of her friendships,and the fact is that actually could be true, in my way of see things are two different kind of people you want to be sexually or romantically envolved, the pretty ones ( in my opinion are normally the ones that you just sleep with ) and the attractive ones ( and that means they can be pretty or not ) and normally are the ones that you want to continue to see after the first night of sex.

Her mistake for what conserns me is that she made the mistake of confuse the word “attractive” for “beautiful” because that word implict a perfection that just few of us have,and rarely you will see the ones that have it say that out loud, they don't need as there is a legion of people to say that for them.

Not even people there are perfect in our imagination aren't truly happy with themselves sometimes,and for the ones that end up dying searching for the ultimate beauty under the shadow of their own public perfection persona.

Was like that American Beauty Peagent Carrie Prejean saying that just straight couples have the right to marriage ,no offense ( like no offense makes everything better ) as someone that sometimes abuse of his right to be honest, I know perfectly when is the moment that I have been sassy or just cross the line and mad fool of myself, and it is a fine line there, say that you are beautiful is not much different than say that marriage is just for straights or homosexuals are all pedophiles,no ofense!!

I totally admire the courage of these women to say things like that without a shadow of embarassment in their faces,when you make a strong statement about yourself you automatically give the right to other people exame you searching for the true.

Years of datings, affairs and sexual interactions can obviously give you a good picture of how popular you are,so if you are attractive and go and say that you are ugly then you are also wrong and are just being needy of attention, I believe that a healfhy mind is the one that balance things out ,beauty is not only in the perfect chin or that amazing six pack, beauty and combination of different sychological prints as it is physical.

Confidence is beautiful, dose with a little of humbleness and you have a pretty good chance to not make fool of yourself or leave the room as the arrogant prejudice prick, but dont get me wrong you got all the right and deserve feel beautiful, say that to your dog, to your reflection and even to your mother ( she probably will agree ) just dont say that in front of the nation and get surprise by the backlash, or better saying, if angelina and Brad haven't done it yet it probably won't work for you, so wake up Cindy(rela) .

Here is the article itself : http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2124246/Samantha-Brick-downsides-looking-pretty-Why-women-hate-beautiful.html

And her interview after the public backlash :  

"If you're gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty."
Marilyn Monroe