As ignorant straight people are about gay sexuality, it is our understanding of the meaning of the word Mental Disorder, maybe because there was a time that this world truly meant totally crazy eating your own feces crazy.
Since I was little there was always this confusion around me as the way I interpreter myself, sometimes I got in trouble for say what I was thinking or just because my personality didn’t put me across in the perfect Hollywood light.
I grew up felling this strange loneliness, complete unjustified as Im coming from a family completely dysfunctional but full of love and conversation!
I couldn’t integrate with order kids without not end up the joke of the week for say something I not suppose to or have a unexpected reaction. My difficulty to learn to read as I couldn’t focus in anything for more than a minute made me end up in a school for retards (was actually my teacher from the school that sent me to do some exams and end up with the result that my I.Q was actually higher than the average and called my mother every day for more than a month almost begging for her transfer me to a normal school ( what she end up doing even against her will )
So if I was actually very normal it means that all my problems was actually me being naughty or misbehaving? I wish it was, but it wasn’t, I continue to be the target of jokes and not really understanding where I was doing wrong, so self confidence wasn’t my best features and be a pretty boy didn’t actually help as I used to attract people at first but my distracted head push them away not increasing my popularity self confidence levels any higher.
Like any young gay man or any man in general, I wanted to fit in, but be gay it mean a even bigger desire to fit in, as for so long we lived felling outcasts, and when I was 18 I went to my first club, my looks was the first reason I became notice and soon enough I realise that was the only reason at all.
It took me years of self testing, dealing with a huge fight inside of my head, like one part of me taking care of the other if it misbehave, in some level I was mimicking other people behave in the hope to “fake it until you make it “ philosophy,i did theatre,started to work in a reception of hotel and for put myself facing my biggest imaginary fear (people) and learned how deal with it.
Many years pass and im still here, but this time much happier with myself because i relearn on my own way how to pass across my unconventional way of thinking in a better and more understandable way to other people, like I am my own country, planet trying to translate this alien way of communication, but when you are part of the minority you are automatically the wrong one, I was the gay, left hand, latino foreigner, retarded or a complete different person that just wanted to fit in, so I had so many reasons to be segregated that people may forgot that maybe was something else going on .
Mental disorder actually is something so vast and got so many level differences that is almost impossible to put them in the same category, as some of them can be as strong as making them kill themselves or someone else, but say that everybody with metal disorder could kill you is the same to say that all gays like a dick in their butt and talks like squeal with tendencies, so please for much less Hitler toast many real people.
Only many years after when my sister notice some no usual behaviours from my oldest niece she found out that she actually have ADHD and as explaining me everything my sister and I automatically came to the same result: I had the same problem all my life without knowing, looking the books about the problem was like going thought the most unforgettable moments of my life, and exactly like the books says the problem become less visible as the person grow up.
Here it go, so next time someone would shout to me instead of shout back I could just call my lawyer, some kind of celebrity to the cripple. Is very easy to go to the self pit selves of ourselves, everybody got a sad story to tell ,and some of us rely on that like my neighbour on her bible. Even without any help I think I could reach that part of my brain that was going to the dreaming side and let it know that I was here always aware.
Through my thoughts, my art, writing and photography I translate parts of me that otherwise it would be misunderstood and some good conscious intelligence can always find their way around, even through itself!
Never let anyone say you can’t, or better, let them to say because there is no better incentive to open doors than got some smash in your face.
THERE IS A LIST OF OTHER CRAZIES,TO LIST A FEW:
Albert Einstein Beethoven Jim Carrey Christopher Columbus Tom Cruise Leonardo da Vinci
Salvador Dali Emily Dickinson F. Scott Fitzgerald Alfred Hitchcock Dustin Hoffman Benjamin Franklin
Steven Spielberg Sylvester Stallone Leo Tolstoy Ted Turner Vincent Van Gogh Jules Verne
Stevie Wonder Virginia Woolf Steve McQueen Mozart Napoleon Nostradamus Isaac Newton
Jack Nicholson Anthony Hopkins John Lennon John F. Kennedy Robert Kennedy Abraham Lincoln
Edgar Allan Poe Cole Porter Elvis Presley Guy Ritchie Joan Rivers Eleanor Roosevelt Pablo Picasso
IF YOU HAVE KIDS, PLEASE BE INFORMED BEFORE PUNISHING THEM FOR SOMETHING THEY CANT CONTROL BUT ALSO DON’T OVER PROTECT, ADHD DOESN’T MEAN YOUR KID IS RETARDED, JUST THAT HE THINKS IN A DIFFERENT WAY THAN YOU.
Watching this video about a teen living with ADHD on the great informative website www.adhdandyou.co.uk
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