THE PURSUIT OF SHAGNESS

I was thinking (I do that a lot, not always something that matters! Lol) I just caught myself thinking that I wish have more gays friends, as most of my friends are straight and the only gay ones are in Brazil, and that raised me a question: Why is so difficult to find friends on internet? I said “friends” not “shags” because those are far too easy for my taste.

I notice that we have so many social networks dedicated only to find you someone to fuck tonight, but when it comes to love or friendship there are practically none and the only ones that proclaiming be no sexual as soon you got in, you realise that actually people are looking for sex there too, and please don’t get me wrong I’m not prude and I’m a very sexual person and nothing like a proper shag to make us smile, but like I always say “I’m not a 24 hours homosexual” and there is a moment and time for everything and even that I don’t necessarily need a boyfriend and I enjoy the single life as much of being with someone, sometimes I fell that be in a relationship that sexually works can be a very useful thing, as gives you time left to think in other things!

But sometimes I think I’m the only gay in the village (or at least the only one that thinks like that) I kind of gave up trying to make friends on internet as apparently the only way to people be my friend over there is when there is something behind, I’m far from be Brad Pitt, but I confess that sometimes is kind of impossible be relevant without my image, and that just give me a sneak peak of what is being gay in a older age, really scares me how shallow and superficial the gay community is becoming as the time goes by, once again don’t get me wrong I grew up with people telling me how cute I was and as I’m growing old I’m doing my part to continue being like that (as my mother always say: With time beauty need

maintenance) but I’m not naïve about the time sure it will eventually catch up on me, but more important than that ,even when I was younger be appreciate for who i am was always very important to me, be attractive is actually a good way to attract people to you and then give you opportunity to show who truly you are, but unfortunately there is people who got shallow in their pursuit of shag the most beautiful fag of the club and others there are shallow because their beauty become the centre of their universe, is like 1 shallowness feeding the other in a vicious circle !

In my 20´s when was about boys, my insecurities always made me think about what I had to offer besides my looks, even with all complements i never settle, I was always looking for information and new experiences that would make me a better and smarter person because I thought that maybe with that I will may attract the right mister right, and then the 30´s came, changing everything again, now is not anymore what I have to offer, but what they have, I’m far from learned all the lessons in life, but I’m sure learned the most important one: I don’t need approval to fell good with myself, my looks and my sexuality is just one of the things I have to offer and I put effort to be the person I am now and I don’t accept less in return (Is like graduate in the university and then go to work in the starbucks, what’s the point ?) and as time goes by “the looks” are becoming less and less import to me (at least in the others) and I still pretty much a very vain person, but dream about the Steve 20´s face is just a unrealistic self destructive thought ,what I want is look my best on my own age (34 by the way) and keep learning and making my brain bigger and more attractive that my cock and my ass ever been !

So, right now I’m not looking for the mister right, as such a thing doesn’t exist, the right relationship depends of two people, and not always the mister right is the right for you, that will happen eventually .

But honestly? I doubt it will happen in any manhunt.com, but I will gladly enjoy the day I will be able to have gay friends to share my life, not my bed, for that we have the mister right now, and I had "nows" enough for a lifetime!

Steve Cavalcanti

GAY & COMICS - THE PERFECT CIVIL PARTNERSHIP ?

Yesterday I was reading a new magazine from my country call “Turma da Monica Jovem” that is a spin-off of the most famous animated characters for children over there (they are the Brazilian Disney) I grew up reading that, and for my surprise after 50 years they decided create a teen version of my favourite childhood heroes, so now all those characters that once were a group a children are now teenagers and like teenagers they will have romantic affairs, drugs and sexuality are on the publish cards for them.

One of my personal friends is the guy behind of one of the first polemic editions of this new spin-off ,EMERSON ABREU is a comics writer and the name of the story is “The boys are all the same” in this one he caused commotion because he took one of the characters called Denise ( a secondary character barely know in the regular edition ) and made her a outspoken teenager who speaks all the gay slangs on the Brazilian queer dictionary (some kind of typical fag hag) causing arguments e debate about if the next step it will be the first gay Brazilian comic character ,uhhh ,honestly I don’t think so, unfortunately when is about people rights and equality ,Brazil still has a long way to go ,but what about in other countries ,do we have a good comic representation ? That’s why I decide to investigate:

THE VERY BIGINNING

You can’t talk about gay comics without talk about Touko Laaksonen, this renowned sexual deviant would later change his name to Tom of Finland to escape the wrath of the heterosexual society at large. With very muscular characters, auto of proportion cocks and some of the most never visualized sexual action between men ever saw in paper (only in our heads perhaps) he actually starts during the 50´s and 60´s and was already drawing homoerotic characters disguised as physic and health illustrations for the also disguised "fitness" magazines of the time, only in the 70´s his most well know drawing came to light making him a gay icon of gay sexual freedom and opening a great deal of possibilities for future gay characters in the future.

THE FUNNY SIDE

In our days now we have so many examples of gays on comics but after some research I came out with only 2 comic stripes that not only did catch me on the eye but also shows a great sense of humor and a storyline that everyone can enjoy (wouldn’t say a family reading but a very humanize satire of our lives) The first one is Chelsea Boys, created by the Canadian designer Glen Hanson and the New Yorker tv writer Allan Neuwirth about 3 completely different gay flat mates called Nathan, Soiree and Sky and their adventures ,they are not only different from each other on personality but also in race background giving the no gay readers a great understand how diverse and complex the gay community can be .

Another great example of gay comics for our days is TROY from the American Michael Derry, with a great range of characters this eye catchy comic got at all, from lesbians with kids, gay whores and even a camp character in a mix of Sex and the city, Queers as Folk and Will & Grace on steroids.

THE SUPER GAY IS COMING ?

I honestly think that even before Tom of Finland, when the first glance on superman came to the light was a gay guy having naughty thoughts about that fictional man and his underwear in the wrong place (im not even going to go to the batman and Robin thing) but the only officially gay super hero still the Northstar, he was created to be the first gay super hero but the 80´s was still not prepared and his creator John Byrne only did imply his sexuality and lack of interest in the opposite sex, only in 1992 Northstar got out of the comic closet in the Alpha Flight issue 106 the only comic book to have been inducted into the gaylactic Hall of fame.

If is not enough a gay super hero, what about a book gay super hero? The unusual concept was created from the author Perry Moore and his book HERO telling the story of Thom, a young boy how can heal things and want to be part of the League of members (something like the league of superheroes) but he hides a secret that could shut down his plans of fame and glory, he will be able to get out of the super closet? Or he will hide himself behind his mask and lycra uniform? The book was almost transported to the small screen in an adaptation from the hands of no one than Stan Lee in 2009, but the project was dropped without a convincing explanation.

We never been so protected by the law and our rights are just getting equally stronger, but when is about of our representation on the cinema, tv, comics and books still not yet the time for us to stop the fight, those people above set the high standard, depends on us continuing pushing the envelope for one day the fiction start to look more like reality.

Steve Cavalcanti

NOW A FELL GOOD VIDEO TO MAKE YOU THINK :

WE SCREW UP DEAL WITH IT

Hi Guys, I just downloaded a tv show called “Being Erica” and is about a woman with 32 years old with a great education and family that end up stuck in a life completely different that she thought it would be when she was younger through a lot of bad decisions and from a Hollywood magic she has the opportunity to tack and change each bad decision she ever had backing in time and living those situations all over again with really funny results.

That made me think, and I think that’s why this show is so good, through the first stone who never thought how it would be change something in your past that it turns terrible wrong by your own choices? I think the point is: we screw up, that’s what human being do best, but the thing is, the meaning of screw up is when we don’t match others people expectancy for us, so because you didn’t go to the university that your parents dreamed for you, for them you screw up, because you like girl not boys you may screw up for parents who dreamed with a girly bride daughter and their grandchildren they will never have.But we only see our own acts as a screw up when we agree with them, that’s when we fell low, when we think we could do better than we did, and that what this show is all about.

I always think that maybe the only reason for that person that everybody knows one, you know? That evil, shallow selfish person that always try to bring you down, that maybe the only reason that person is the way he (she) is, is because he (she) is lucky, is because different than us he (she) never had weight problems or family issues and that made he (she) too confident and give them a mistaken sense of superiority.Is our sense of our own pain that makes us sympathize with other people pain, at least for the great majority, sometimes it takes one relative dying from cancer for you see how important is to donate some of your money for the cancer research or lose your fortune to understand that poor people is just people with no money, and what it would be the humanity without regret? im sure it would be a even worse place to be ,that’s for sure.

The question is, you would really do perfectly if you could do everything over again? or you would just generate a butterfly effect messing things up even more ? And the crazy side of the story: if yesterday didn’t happen, if I never made that mistake or allow me to get that hurt in love, I would be that special carrying person I am now?

I did a very good job in doing things wrong in the past, I did hurt people, i allow me to get hurt, I had few big shallow decisions and some completely stupid unselfish ones, yeah I fuck up big time and the person who fucked me best was myself, and you know what? im sorry who I hurted on my way and im sure in so point who hurted me it will fell the same ,but is life ,and the only really terrible consequence of our actions it would be not learned anything from that ,that would be tragic ,because not learning your lesson it means living it all over again .

You just can’t do better if you not acknowledge what you did wrong .How many men needed to die for finally one got it right and we started to have airplanes or go to the moon, unfortunately all the human history success was a result of series of failed attempts.

Life is a bunch of infinite screwing ups, so don’t fool yourself, doesn’t matter how old or wise you are, you always going to screw up, so do it educationally and be happy.

Steve Cavalcanti

EATING DISORDER - A MODERN TREND

In our days today is practically impossible not find someone with some level of body issues, have you notice that? everywhere there is someone complaining that is too skinny or too fat or not muscle enough, we are definitely living the age of access, where any aspect of the human behaviour is use to the fullest, but unfortunately not always in a good way.

Of course the reason of my interest is because I had and I still have issues myself and that I think comes from the way our modern society influenced our parents that influence us and so us to our kids in some kind of vicious circle.Here in England one of major problems is obesity, is not difficult you stop for a quick meal in any fast food chain and see huge families, not huge in number, but in size, when even the little baby that barely got teeth yet is already rounded being feed from balanced nutrition meals based in potato chips, deep fry fat meat and lots of sugar.

Coming from a country where beauty is everything, I lived the other side of the bill, where if you can grab one finger of fat from your stomach you are in a serious social borderline. I grew up with the super model mom, that for me was a reason to be proud and my sister to be ashamed, so my house were a sanctuary of vanity, with treadmills on the living rooms and me knowing more about plastic surgery than geography in my childhood.

Even that as a family we always had the philosophy of doing sports and exercise we never had much of information about nutrition, as someone like my mom always said to have good genes, I never need to worry about what I put inside of my body because it seams I was capable to vanish whatever was bad , keeping my exterior as beautiful as was expected from my beautiful family and society.

Time passed fast, I came to England, where the enormous variety of international food was something i was not very familiar with, but I adored, the fast food here is even more fast and delicious, at least was for me and just the fact I didn’t need to make them was enough reason to add more flavour to this greasy guilty thing.

Not used to be restrained with diets and already in a relationship (yeah be single helps lazy people to be thin) I just moved back to Brazil and found a amazing new group of friends that didn’t care about my appearance or sexual orientation and were all great drinkers and eaters, so I started a great deal of nights in bars having fun ,talking drinking and eating .When I was 28 and after many ultra fat meals, deserts that would kill any diabetic person in the first bite and doses of alcohol that cold dizzy a elephant and no exercise at all, my body finally gave up and so did my Brazilian beauty, I just crossed the borderline ,i succumbed to the dark side , I wasn’t a Jedi but the new chubby boy on the block.

One years and a half and pounds later I decided back to England and start my life here from the very beginning all over again, but this time single, older, fatter. After more than 3 years living the life of the people that I used to judge I decided it was time for me to change my approach to food and my own body issues, but that was just the beginning of a brand new body issue.

I started a intense regime of body training that made me a daily presence in the gym and the winner in counting calories per small meal you ever seen, I did the impossible in a matter of 6 months I went from chubby flab boy to the most fit I ever been in my life(as you see in the picture below)but like everything in my life I tend to cross the line and in just one year later my looks start to fade through my poor diet and a sick look start to show up as my appetite became the last import thing in my life and i was no longer interest in food !

Last December at Christmas we had here one of the most cold winter in years and I was unemployed, completely stressed, depress you named I had it all, so again I turn to food and cigarettes to comfort me, and there it goes I was again on the same path, around Feb this year I decided stop felling sorry for myself and tried to understand the reasons behind my own behaviour, unfortunately there is not a quick fix, and exactly like a drug addiction is something that is always going to be there and from the moment that you forget it may back to hunt you again, is day by day struggle but it not necessary should be seen as bad.

I started to learn about nutrition and I comfortably eat each 3 hours ,I learned to cook ,so I know what im putting inside of my body, after 10 years I finally stop smoking and even that now im in shape and want look my best im not rushing, I will start in the gym again only 3 days a week and i am already doing some bike rides and push-ups.

Find a balance is a hell of a job, is not a fast track to success and like everything in life needs commitment, hard work in the daily bases and definitely should not taken for granted.

Steve Cavalcanti

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I HELPED IN ANY WAY OR JUST TELL ME YOUR STORY AND HOW YOU FINDING YOUR OWN BALANCE IN LIFE !

Im current living in Uk having a affair with my bicycle and we lived happy ever after ( yeah right !! lol )