THE PURSUIT OF SHAGNESS

I was thinking (I do that a lot, not always something that matters! Lol) I just caught myself thinking that I wish have more gays friends, as most of my friends are straight and the only gay ones are in Brazil, and that raised me a question: Why is so difficult to find friends on internet? I said “friends” not “shags” because those are far too easy for my taste.

I notice that we have so many social networks dedicated only to find you someone to fuck tonight, but when it comes to love or friendship there are practically none and the only ones that proclaiming be no sexual as soon you got in, you realise that actually people are looking for sex there too, and please don’t get me wrong I’m not prude and I’m a very sexual person and nothing like a proper shag to make us smile, but like I always say “I’m not a 24 hours homosexual” and there is a moment and time for everything and even that I don’t necessarily need a boyfriend and I enjoy the single life as much of being with someone, sometimes I fell that be in a relationship that sexually works can be a very useful thing, as gives you time left to think in other things!

But sometimes I think I’m the only gay in the village (or at least the only one that thinks like that) I kind of gave up trying to make friends on internet as apparently the only way to people be my friend over there is when there is something behind, I’m far from be Brad Pitt, but I confess that sometimes is kind of impossible be relevant without my image, and that just give me a sneak peak of what is being gay in a older age, really scares me how shallow and superficial the gay community is becoming as the time goes by, once again don’t get me wrong I grew up with people telling me how cute I was and as I’m growing old I’m doing my part to continue being like that (as my mother always say: With time beauty need

maintenance) but I’m not naïve about the time sure it will eventually catch up on me, but more important than that ,even when I was younger be appreciate for who i am was always very important to me, be attractive is actually a good way to attract people to you and then give you opportunity to show who truly you are, but unfortunately there is people who got shallow in their pursuit of shag the most beautiful fag of the club and others there are shallow because their beauty become the centre of their universe, is like 1 shallowness feeding the other in a vicious circle !

In my 20´s when was about boys, my insecurities always made me think about what I had to offer besides my looks, even with all complements i never settle, I was always looking for information and new experiences that would make me a better and smarter person because I thought that maybe with that I will may attract the right mister right, and then the 30´s came, changing everything again, now is not anymore what I have to offer, but what they have, I’m far from learned all the lessons in life, but I’m sure learned the most important one: I don’t need approval to fell good with myself, my looks and my sexuality is just one of the things I have to offer and I put effort to be the person I am now and I don’t accept less in return (Is like graduate in the university and then go to work in the starbucks, what’s the point ?) and as time goes by “the looks” are becoming less and less import to me (at least in the others) and I still pretty much a very vain person, but dream about the Steve 20´s face is just a unrealistic self destructive thought ,what I want is look my best on my own age (34 by the way) and keep learning and making my brain bigger and more attractive that my cock and my ass ever been !

So, right now I’m not looking for the mister right, as such a thing doesn’t exist, the right relationship depends of two people, and not always the mister right is the right for you, that will happen eventually .

But honestly? I doubt it will happen in any manhunt.com, but I will gladly enjoy the day I will be able to have gay friends to share my life, not my bed, for that we have the mister right now, and I had "nows" enough for a lifetime!

Steve Cavalcanti